I have finally had an proper visit with TheKnightInShiningArmor. At first It was to be a evening, but a deadline, important business matters. Turned it into a a quick exchange of information and well, heh lets call it. "Personalized Relaxation Therapy" *laughs* To remind you who this guy is. He is the lawyer who brought me Honey lemon chicken broth and ginger ale when I was sick after only talking to me for a bit on the net. He is a good heart, dominant soul, and a bit of a goof ball I think if ya get him in the right place. (Can't wait to find out)
He picked me up and we went somewhere to chat. He asked me to read my blog to him. So, I did. The last one "Night Terrors" Halfway through as I stood in front of the AC cooling off reading it to him from my phone he came over and slipped my skirt off, my Top then asked me to get my boots on. He wanted to watch me put them on. Now, I have many insecurities when it comes to my body. Some I can hide quite well. Others are just impossible to ignore at times. But he took control.
"I don't like being naked in front of people its a fear." I said slipping my boots on and zipping em up.
"How do you get over a fear doll?"
"You face it."
"Exactly." He said.
His eyes on my were at first very uncomfy. He didn't give me time to focus on it. He touched me. He enjoyed me, he saw beauty even in my nakedness. Every one of my Insecurities there for him to see, touch, smell. He took control. Showed me how sexy I was and how much he wanted to experience me, Perfect.
Now, I knew he needed some "relaxation" his marriage is such where, like a lot of them, the passion is not there, he and his wife have grown apart and with a child, well, you make sacrifices. As unhappy as he is in his marriage, he knows being a lawyer how unpleasant for many reasons things will be in a divorce. So for his son, he keeps with her. But he makes sure to get what he needs in his life to continue being a good father, a provider. And for a man, this can mean regular Sexual release. Good thing my libido is generally the same.
Was quick, the initial play. Full of a lot of interesting new sensations for me. Eh, new, not new really, just had been a long time. He knew what he wanted and he took it. In a way that my ToyBoy had expressed interest in but has yet, I say yet, to have the balls to take from me his, as his wife labeled it, "Physical playmate". It was a position I had never done before. But, I like. I came twice in a short time and then he did as well.
Half way through my reading he stopped me and had me lay on the bed with my head bent backwards over the edge. I had never experienced such a deep throat penetration. I liked it. He had me fuck myself with my dildo reaching down and playing with me as I did myself slapping my tits so perfectly throughout. Quick, simple, and effective. It wasn't 10-15 and we were laid out on our backs naked and talking again about my blog. Finishing the reading and then he began to give me feedback.
He said the same things ToyBoy said about my writing with a couple new things to think about. Suffering, important he said.
"You are on the road to being great. Your honesty is your novelty. But do not be so worried about the struggles, the torcher in your life. It is what drives you and will make your writing more potent."
I get it, starving artist. I reminded him if I wasn't diabetic I would embrace the emptiness that lack of food on occasion gives. That I am not afraid of hardship. But that I am worried about my health. I cannot even begin to explain how much I hate being diabetic. So we laid there for a lil over a hour. I learned a bit about him and his marriage, his little boy of whom he is so proud and loves very much.
Things noted during the exchange: as we laid there his fingers played on my shoulder and side my head on his tummy. Tactile.. I like that. He had wanted to have a few drinks, hang out whatever but deadlines at work had him back at the office again until 11pm. So quick and Perfect first exchange. Before I left he handed me some cash.
"Look as a friend Emmy, please take this. Get something to eat and I will help you with groceries this week."
Not necessary, Eh, wrong word. Not Required, but very much appreciated In the place I am now as far as money. I will not refuse. He has told me about some books that will help me as he says,
"They will ramp my writing up to the next level. I will drop em off." Anything to make my dream of publishing come true, call me anytime, just jingle I will help you relax... ;D
I have a bed to buy after all.
My ToyBoy, I know his blocks with me. I know I recognize and I accept them. It does not hurt my self esteem that he has In no uncertain terms told me that there are things about my physical self that is not exactly a "turn on for him" My weight, my overly casual dress at times. He refers to it as a American way of dressing. He is right you know. For the most part Americans do not really dress with much pride most of the time. If I had the stuff in my closet. I would dress nicely always. In the place he is now, coming out of a marriage to what I have learned is a my way or the highway kind of mentality, I do not blame him even one little bit to reach for things his way. As of now, I am not "His way". Not entirely. Bits of me, Like bits of him connect with bits of me so perfectly. There are things that do not. I know what I offer him and what he offers me. And he knows too.
Tower, home point, non threatening, unconditional, love.
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