Look, if I hear "take comfort in" or "Take solace in" or even "count your blessings" one more time too soon I am gonna batman slap someone.
"NO! Need new ones!!"
"But you have so much to be grateful fo...."
"Did I Stutter?"
I know what the fuck I got, really? Do I strike anyone as the kind of person who cannot see what I have?
Thing is, you do see what I have and that's why shit is as it is. Period.
I know what I need and do not have. For instance, I am sitting here trying to decide between using my money for Pain relief/food or cab rides to go get my meds. Then I will have my insulin but no food, at least not the proper food. Where as if I get the proper food and something to make the pain go away I will be able to eat proper and thus keep my sugar down, not necessarily perfect, but down and level and less pain means less *Sighs* tears and more productivity. So what should I do? Needs, I know what they are.
I need a friend, my friend. Meaning mine, with me on things. Got my back when the chips are down and the playing field is set and ready to be put into action, or when the shit hits the fan and people pick their sides. (and it always happens) Someone who will, when needed stand up and speak my side so I am not the only one doing it thus looking crazy! Or am I really just that? Crazy.
Don't be a smart ass
A real friend. Need, that is a need.
Need, I need to fix the problem's with my book. What had it sent back. I see em now as I look at it. Not Astronomical problems, just yeah. Time to get out the buffers. I moved to quickly in the end. I knew better. I do better when it is at my leisure and I can enjoy the process. Not push for a Deadline. For me writing is not a "Job" least not this kind. I can produce that way, this project is just more personal, needs more time and flexibility.
I am in a state of fuck the world today. Confused and not really sure I want clarification. Not sure it matters anymore.
Ain't no one got time for that.
Been on this path for a while that is lined with as HisRoyalRascalness says his Thai girl calls metal pants. Chastity belts for the vanilla's out there. Both because I am loosing interest in it all, And because others are loosing interest in it with me. Its too much trouble, frustration, time, and not enough reward. Just not worth it to me. Dating, the actual attempt at getting a date. I am just to tired and have too much to do. Too much I want to do. Too little energy to do it with. I am much like a man in this regard, if I am left to build too long i get my own version of blue balls. Add that to a woman's normally moody nature. Yeah, fuck time to just leave it alone for a while. All of it.
At the moment I cannot be sure I will be blogging here much. I have a lot going on in my world and I am sorta writing-Constipated. Words just don't come, and I am full of words I cannot say in a public forum right now. Anger, resentment and a lot of fear. I am putting them down. But in a place that will not be seen for a long time if ever. That depends on how things go. Where I end up in life and my relationships.
Ups and downs, twists and turns, what good drama would be complete without them? This is what our lives are. We all bitch about not wanting drama in our lives. Fuck you. We are liars we love drama. The good kind. It's the bad kind most of us do not want in our lives. But even then, there's a freak for everything.
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